Once upon a time there was a big brown cow. The cow mooed and all was good in the land. Along walked a man named Calcierous. Calcierous stepped upon the field and thought, "this is a good land". He walked towards the cow, and the cow mooed, and he was good. Calcierous then stayed in the land of the cow, and he was good.

In the woods on the edge of the good land of Calcierous and the cow, there sat an opossum. And the opossum mooed and all was good. In fact, things were good so much that the people of the land threw away their happy-making drugs, which made things even better. Especially for the man who worked for the local dump because he was stocked for life. But the man at the dump heard the moo of the opossum and became confused.

The dump worker pondered: "what noise does an opossum make?!" Not knowing the answer, he sought out the guidance of Calcierous in the good land field with the brown cow... but first he gathered all of the happy drugs into a sac and loaded it upon his camel, aptly name Saccarrier. He rode Saccarrier through the desert for 400 days and 362 nights and he eventually came to the field of the brown cow and Calcierous. He buried his sac of drugs (not wanting them to be found) and proceeded towards the brown cow.

The big cow mooed, and he then knew what sound an opossum made, and he was good. For the knowledge that the cow gave him, he gave the brown cow twenty pounds of green leaf to chew. The cow chewed the first five pounds of green leaf, and mooed, to express the goodness of it all. Calcierous chewed five pounds of the green and wanted to be good. All was good, but the Calcierous turned into an opossum.

In the form of an opossum, Calcierous could moo with the cow, and all was good. They continued to chew the leaf until all twenty pounds of it were gone; and all was not good. The brown cow and Calcierous set out across the desert to find the dump worker, who was aptly named Naholopetamon.

"Naholopetamon is not a good man", thought Calcierous the opossum. This thought was on his mind as he traveled the journey of eight-hundred and ninety-four days, and three nights, across the desert. At every quasi-village they stopped at along the way, they gained militia for their army, to wage the good war on the grounds where the dump once was. But when their forces of 6×10 (to the power of nine) people arrived at the dump, they found nothing. The man had gone, taking everything but the sac that the drugs were once in, which blew across their feet.

The cow mooed, but it was a different moo than normal. The moo echoed across the barren land and the stench of the garbage soon nestled into their nostrils. Calcierous burrowed into the ground, and the cow followed. The army of 6×10 (to the power of nine) stood at the entrance of the tunnel to act as a human shield from the aroma. Calcierous mooed, the cow drooled and all was good. The tunnel was aptly name Stenchiidoubt.