Calcierous stepped onto the land and smelled the warm, familiar aroma of daisies and fresh fecal coli form! In slow motion he bounded through the hills... he was no longer an opossum - he was a man. His head was shaven bald, but all was good nonetheless.

He galloped across the field with all his might. His five legs brushed against the ground with ease as he gained speed. He then stopped suddenly, realizing that he was not a man, but a horse. And not a five legged horse, but one who was severely well-endowed. And then Calcierous’ mother appeared, and laughed at how he was "hanging out". She was sporting Super Mario™ underpants, a sombrero, and a "Where’s Waldo?"™ style t-shirt. Recognizing the silliness of this particular series of events, and the slow motion of it all, Calcierous suddenly awoke to a rap at his cell door. Calcierous was still in opossum form.

"You were dreaming Calcierous," said a wispy voice coming from the darkness behind the cell door. It was Mrs. Carter, who had come with Naholopetamon, "the cow and Bob the Builder™ are still sleeping. See if you can’t get the ion driven water fountain from the cow without waking him." Calcierous did as she said, but he paused before giving it to Mrs. Carter.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? WILL CALCIEROUS GIVE MRS. CARTER THE ION DRIVEN WATER FOUNTAIN? OR WILL THE COW WAKE IN THE NICK OF TIME? FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THIS AND MANY OTHER QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW BY VOTING!!

Ending Number One

The Opossum sensed danger in the air. "Do you have the time?" Calcierous asked, schemingly. Mrs. Carter revealed a silver pocket watch. Calcierous snatched it out of her hand and began to chew the time-keeping device. At the horrific sight of this disgusting act, Mrs. Carter’s veins all burst, and she was dead. "Bitch!" Calcierous added.

Ending Number Two

"What time is it?" he asked. "Two blogs past the blorg." Mrs. Carter replied. He knew it. "Aha!" he stated, "I knew all along that you were a Vactoplasmian from the planet Laarg!"

"Nooo!" she answered, "I’m sorry! I just read the watch wrong!" But it was too late. Calcierous turned the fountain towards her and fired. She was dead. He realized afterward that her body didn’t change back into it’s original Vactoplasmian form, so she must have been telling the truth. But he didn’t really care either way.

Ending Number Three

"Where did Mrs. Carter go?" Calcierous asked Bob after he awoke. Bob pointed to the big scary monster in the corner. "Roar." said the big scary monster and then vanished. Mrs. Carter was dead.

TO VOTE, SIMPLY SEND A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE WITH THE "ENDING NUMBER" ENCLOSED TO: