One upon a time there was a big, brown Malcatrow. The big, brown Malcatrow cooed, and all was good in the land. The people ate the purple plant of Esmerand, and were happy.

One day, a short distance away from Malcatrow there was a little man named Bill, or Bob, or whatever..."Um, his name is Ed," said Alex. "Dammit," said Jon. Bunnies were having sex while this debate persisted, and soon the land was filling up with wickle wabbits.

"Aww, wook at the wickle wabbits!" exclaimed Malcatrow.

"Wickle wickle wazzle woo," added Ed, from afar.

"Ism a widdle cutey wootey bunny wunny," added Malcatrow, yet again.

"Boobies." claimed Naholopetamon from the woods, just before he was swiftly struck by lightning.

In hope of some plot development, a group of unruly pirates sailed ashore in hopes of pillaging some purple plant of Esmerand. It was their life-force. Accordingly, they were deathly allergic to wickle bunnies.

There was only one way that they could steal the purple plants, and pillage the village (alllright): crawling through sewer pipes. The plan was muddled, however, when one decided to light a match in the pipe (to see, silly) and ignited the stenchful gas of the people. Those in the pipe were immediately liquidated, which didn’t actually help the smell.

One dark night, they got together and decided to raid the village under the cover of darkness. Of course, to do this they would have to convince Darkness to be their cover, which darkness did, after some cajoling. The pirates had two key elements in their attack: surprise and fear...and darkness...damn! Three key elements!!!

Anyway, with darkness as their cover they snuck in the village and began the raiding process. After the first few minutes, however, Darkness decided to go out for his afternoon tea & tutoring with his math tutor, Svelly, and Tim Hortons™, leaving the pirates to their inevitable doom. Darkness ordered some pie, to eat with his pi, and the band of rapscallions was left to di - er, to die. But die they did not! They simply used bullet-time technology to dodge the attacks of the wabbits, and successfully plundered the purple plant, picking Pip’s Esmand pounds. Say that three times fast. [Hey, good job! Honestly, you’re good at that - why not go to www.tonguetwisters.com?] Meanwhile, at the same place: the wickle wunny bunnies were having a twough twime keeping the pirates from the purple plants. There were few left, and the townspeople were getting rather pissed off in their spots, as they stood idly by, watching the shenanigans.

Suddenly, amongst the crowd, Penelope Pancherap pleasantly picked up on the punch and presently prepared to precipitate a plethora of punts on the pirates (Nominate me for the world’s longest alliteration). The pirates soon fled, fearing that their presence may produce more pandemics of large proportions.

While not much purple plant was left, the villagers were happy, as they now knew that the best way to stop people is to actually STOP them. The wickle bunnies were pleased too, as they were then free of the curse put on them by the witch pirates, many years before. And, as always, all was good.