"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Calcierous, in between bouts of completely un-called for laughter, "why am I now suddenly a Hyena?!"

"Maybe you are drunk, diseased, or violated like myself," offered Ed.

"No, no... that's not it, you are just creepy," explained Calcierous. But he had to get to the bottom of it. What a situation... in fact it was so grave that there wasn't time to aptly name it anything at all.

So off he went on his journey to the nether-regions of the earth, the spot that many would call "icky". He went to a place that can only be described with one word: Eenapan. In this place there was nothing, the social spot "to be" was a frickin' gas station, but there was one person which Calcierous knew could provide the answer to his question, and his name could only be described with one lowly syllable: Buck.

Buck wasn't a normal person, in fact, he was much worse. His house smelled of rhinoceros feet, his fridge had nothing but spam and toast in it, and Calcierous was pretty sure that his deodorant was a combination of ground lice and cream cheese. "Whaddya want?!?" yelled Buck. "Nothing but a moment of your time", answered Calcierous, logically. "Please Buck, I need to know, why do I keep changing form?" To this Buck extravagantly cleared the 70's adult literature off of a chair and told Calcierous to sit down and hear a slice of life.

Buck explained that the gods don't like some people. In fact, they dislike some of them so much so, that they "kill their damned potatoes, dries up their apples, and gives their women chunky eyes..." Buck thought aloud. Calcierous asked Buck to get back on topic, to which Buck responded, "well... your damn parents named you Calcierous, and it's not like you can blame that on the gods. The two gods sitting up there," he gestured at the ceiling, "you foolish nutty putty gutty trutty. What-eeee? Now be gone!"

Calcierous cursed the gods, and asked for guidance from them at the same time. To this, they responded by showing him the way back to the good land, where the cow greeted him with a nice moo.

Buck beat up the floor.........with his teeth..........twice.