Ania stepped upon the field and the land was hushed. An audience of turtles gathered at her feet. The ground under her boiled, and the fair earthworms scampered away from the presence of her. Calcierous, the cow, Malcatro, and Ed all simultaneously turned their heads to the east, feeling the great disturbance in the good force. They had never felt this deep feeling before; it was as if everything they knew and loved was untrue. They did not know what to expect, but they had heard faint stories of her that had been passed from person to person.

"I heard that she takes good lands like ours and turns them to brown, unfertile wastelands," said Calcierous.

"And I heard that she puts extra sugar on her Frosted Flakes™," Malcatro added.

"And I heard that she is of kangaroo born," the cow said, and proceeded to state "moo."

"What should we do then?" asked Ed to the group.

There was simply but one answer. She had to be taken to court. Not piddley small claims court either, but to the supreme court of CANADA. Not Australia...bloke. She was to be charged with 7 counts of nonsensical jargonation, with the sentencing of riding a beaver through the swamps of Yab Semaj, if found guilty. And considering that the jury was made up primarily of turtles and earthworms, one could tell that there was a great chance that she would be riding an animal commonly found on a Nickel soon. Heh heh. Nickelback.

She was swiftly flown to Canada, where she spent months in hot court rooms with skeezy lawyers. The first day did not go too well. The jury was introduced, and of course Malcatro and Ed were on it.

"Damn" Ania thought.

"You are charged with many crimes," said the judge, "muah."

"I did nothing bad at all, mate," said Ania.

"Slander!" cried the jury.

"Take her away until she can speak properly," the judge sentenced.

Several rigorous months of speech therapy ensued, through which Ania turned her "mates" into "ehs". On the third of the new month, her final sentencing started. She was led into the courtroom with twelve heavily armed guards, all wearing earplugs to protect them from any further slander. "What would YOU do at an Enrique Iglesias concert," Ania protested, "sway?"

"No, your honour...I’d leave," declared Malcatro in response to the cross examination. And with that, the court room was left in a shocking silence. A silence so deep and...shocking that it caused the implosion of the courtroom.

"Crykie!" a muffled whisper came from under the rubble. It’s a good thing that turtles have shells. From under the pile of rubble, Ania pushed upwards, holding a turtle in each hand.

"NOW what are we going to do?" cried the judge, looking over at the crushed jury.

"Well Ed and I are fine, we could still continue," Malcatro said, trying to help.

"That’s true...who wants hot fresh popcorn?" asked Naholopetamon before being hit in the temple by a flying squirrel. Well they had to figure something out as there was nowhere for them to go; the whole block was in ruin after that silence-related implosion. A kernel per turtle.