On a planet farther away than a supermodel to a Twinkie™, there lived a cow. Beside that cow there sat another cow, and beside it another, and another, and another, in rows upon rows of Bovinia. The cows mooed in unison, and all was good.

They were unstoppable. Their moo beams were able to reach the extreme corners of the universe. They spread so much joy that there was no need for war in their general vicinity, and so the local economies sucked. Anyway, on a bright, sunny day in February, a moo beam just happened to strike a certain good land.

Like a ray of sun, pure happiness of Bovinia landed on a creature. The thing was lying in a lawn chair, basking in the sun holding a glass of ice-cold lime-aid on the end of its tail. Calcierous the opossum had just returned home to his good land and was now Bovinified. He stumbled back towards the cow, trying to overcome his joy, and told him of the moo beam. The cow mooed, but this moo told him something different than the usual goodness. The cow knew that his home was trying the call him, and he knew he had to respond, or else.

Naholopetamon came out of his hat, followed by a talking penguin named Sven. "I know of a place far away that has the technologies we need to contact the cows," said Naholopetamon, "Telus Mobility™ in ‘Cat Centre’ land where Sven here once worked as a mascot." Sven broke into tears, and then spoke with a foreign, Swedish, accent. "I would do anything to get back at them!"

In order to do anything against Telus™, Sven had to call on some old friends. They first knocked on the door of the frog. He hopped at the dining room window, slid down, and then proceeded to open the door. The frog quickly agreed to the plan, and they moved on to the house of the hummingbird. The hummingbird was out back, carefully suckling the stuff from a big, pretty flower. The hummingbird also liked the plan, and they got together the next day to attack the Telus™ superstore in the land of "Cat Centre".

That morning there was a chill breeze on the land, and the group of, umm, five or six trekked towards the superstore brandishing knives and NERF™ guns. The situation was aptly named Tellosattak.

There was an element of danger that was felt by all as they walked past a gang of cowboys. But the companions carried on. Upon arrival at Telus™, the first section of the plan was carried out. Most obviously, it involved clowns, puppies, and the letter ‘K’. Section two involved hypnotizing the Telus™ workers. Finally, section three involved rabid chipmunks. They threw those at the Telus™ workers, and quickly stopped to watch the snails eat their bologna. The plan went off without a hitch, and they soon were in complete control of all the Telus™ technology... and the letter ‘M’.